None of Your Business

For a couple of days, I’ve been resisting the urge to comment on something that I saw on Facebook. I’d rather not start some dumb war, especially since it was all triggered by a stupid Facebook meme. Those damn memes. Seriously. Love them or hate them, but they sure can act like tequila thrown into a perfectly nice party.

The particular meme that got me going was of a “photo” of a fetus at 12 weeks. I say “photo” this way because it was more like art. A beautiful but delicate and perfect small baby, photo shopped down into the scale of fitting into a human hand.

How do I know it’s not real? Well, partly because I’m a photographer and I know what you can do in editing. But other than that…

Because I’ve seen actual newborns and I’m guessing you’ve seen them too. Real newborns (much less preemies) don’t actually look all that good. Even alive, they don’t look that good.

I also know the photo is altered because the baby’s head is not even the right shape, and it’s fully formed, unlike a fetus at 12 weeks that looks more like an alien and less like a person. Because fetuses are actually see-through at 12 weeks and their heads are 1/3 or their body. For real.

I’m not even fighting here on right or wrong, or the “is it a person or not person” thing. I’m just saying the meme photo is bullshit.

I’m all for sharing ones thoughts, but check your stuff if you are trying to convince people of things. I think the world would be a much better place if we were all actively trying to research what is truth. The key here is research.

Okay, now that I said that, I feel better.

Except I mostly don’t feel better because I can’t get why this is still a freaking issue. In 2015. I really thought we had this whole abortion debate decided. Like, before I was born. I grew up believing that we had this decided. So I’m wondering a little bit why there isn’t more fear about how hot and nasty a topic abortion is these days. How women’s reproductive rights are taking slides backwards. Backwards, ladies. You know? The wrong way!?!

I’m going to go ahead and say right now that you all probably think me some pro-choice, raging liberal. And you got that half right. I am a raging liberal, on most things anyway. But on this, no. I’d say if I had to give myself a label, which I HATE doing, I’m pro-life. I am.

But that said, I’m only pro-life for me. I have faced pregnancies that I did not plan, and based on my own heart and beliefs, the only option I had for myself was to have a baby. And I got to choose that, but only for me. Because it’s my body and my life and my choice.

I believe that every woman has the right to choose what happens to her body, whether that be taking birth control, having sex, having babies or terminating a pregnancy. Those choices are hers to make because the consequences are hers to face. Because we don’t all think and feel the same and because it really isn’t any of our damn business what women do with their bodies. Period. I truly believe it is, and can be, that simple.

I know how hard it is to raise kids as a single mother. I know how hard it is to do that in poverty and I know how the social programs out there are not that cushy and easy to get as one might think. Forcing women to have babies they cannot take care of is not good for anyone.

It is okay to think abortion is wrong. It is. You can be as morally and ethically and religiously against it up one side and down the other, but it is still NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Unless of course it’s your body.

Then it’s totally up to you.

****I would put some photos up here, proving my point, but I’d rather not share that. It borders on icky and I don’t like icky, so I just can’t imagine putting that out into the world. But I do encourage all of you to go check it out if you think I’m wrong. Just type 12 week old fetus into Google and then hit Images on the top left of the screen. You’ll see what I’m saying.

Always, thoughts and comments and opinions are welcome. Meanness is not welcome and will get you booted. But I’d do that if you spoke nasty in my living room too, so…


3 thoughts on “None of Your Business

  1. Michelle,
    You sure did hit the nail on the head. I am in a constant struggle on social media in general to know when to hold back and when to call something/someone out. Usually I am not brave enough because FB and other media is so easily a place for someone to bully and make fun of someone, just wanting to share their own thoughts. Thanks for writing! xoxo

  2. As Sir Edmund Burke said, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Could you perhaps take your eyes off your own selfish interests and see this issue from another perspective? It’s no one’s business if it whether you have sex, you’re right. But if that results in an unintended pregnancy, as a fellow human being who loves life and has compassion for others, we should make it our business to defend the helpless. Isn’t that what PETA is all about? We can become impassioned about Spotted Owls and baby seals, but unborn baby humans absolutely not? We should just turn away knowing what’s happening? There are options for unwanted pregnancies. There are countless families who would give ANYTHING to have a baby to call their own. But better to throw it in the trash. Or use it for parts and profit. The veil has been taken off this issue. The ruse that it’s not human, that it’s simply biological tissue and unviable is no longer believable. When you KNOW better you DO better. THAT is where we are. In this day and age, we can’t look earlier into the process of conception and make smarter decisions about sleeping with someone we don’t really love, have no commitment with, our aren’t ready for the possible pregnancy that could result? We can’t make smarter decisions about contraception? The ONLY choice was whether to kill the human I produced from all my other choices. I can’t accept that. We pray for hearts and minds to be changed. The eyes are now opened.

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